hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
