absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
