4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
