youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize