Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
