We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
