we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
