Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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