So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
