And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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