He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
