Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
