so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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