She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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