He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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