careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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