Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Randomize
