if you like me you must not know who I am
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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