I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
