i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I had to cum in my sink.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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