I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
