When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm really busy with my period
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