your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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