We won't sleep together?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
