i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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