Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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