when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize