well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
