Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
