yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
