turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
