just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
