I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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