Please, let me fuck your mom
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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