I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
