this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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