Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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