If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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