Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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