So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You have to summon your inner elephant
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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