white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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