I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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