why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
