Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
True college students do jello shots in the library
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