we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
