i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
