I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
