that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
