its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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