she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
