Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize