I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
