Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
