Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
