I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
is wine microwaveable?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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