Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
