she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
