So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
