I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
