I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
