And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
