with your own penis?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm both gender and math confused
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
