i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize