My nipple is on Facebook.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
