i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize