your parents love me but you hate me
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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