trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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