so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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