You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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