it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
