Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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