the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
