Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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