all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
