Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
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